I didn’t have too much “recovery” time before I attended “The First Wedding (as a Single Guest)”. Six weeks roughly. Naturally the invitation had been intended for the both of us but the happy couple were initially my friends and therefore I would now be attending the wedding alone. To add further disruption to the whole painful shenanigans the wedding was abroad and unfortunately he lost his money, unable to get a refund on his ticket… (I also lost money on a ticket for a wedding I was meant to go to in Germany.) Another casualty of heartbreak-your finances!
My friend was an angel and didn’t put his place card on the table. At the table there was only the empty chair next to me to remind that someone was missing… That, and the many friends (who knew him well from the weddings we had attended over our 5 years together) wanting to know where he was!
I had to update everybody. One.by.one… Great experience- such a joy! Maybe I should have put it on Facebook that we had broken up… But that is not my style. Oh well.
I admit part of me secretly thought; if we hadn’t gone to as many weddings (presents, travelling, dresses – see below, etc.) as we did and instead had enjoyed and explored amazing holidays for the equal amount of money, effort and hours…well, at least at this wedding nobody would have known about him to ask! … Friends don’t have to return all of your financial and physical investments… luckily. ☺ I am joking, I would have never changed any of the weddings we went too, and we always had fun… But I swear secretly everybody has this guilty thought… Surely?!
Anyway, whilst at the wedding did I think about the obvious? That all of my dreams about getting married were broken for a good couple of years? Oh hell yes! Constantly. Did I cry? Only when no one could see it. Did I learn my lesson that one should never plan, imagine or dream again because there is a chance that your dreams might not come true? Instinct is an amazing thing, I couldn’t help but dream, but as much as I wanted children before, I couldn’t imagine that it would happen to me anytime soon. My mind and heart had completely switched off.
Despite the fact a young boy and I were the only single people at the wedding, the wedding was very beautiful… and I had a feeling I would need to get used to this; that this would be the first of many weddings I would attend alone. ☺
PS: This is how you catch the flower! I have actually caught them twice. Once it landed on my lap (I was so happy I did’t have to go with the girls. I was in the back, hiding. And still). It was quite funny. And it proves it perfectly that this whole thing is a big @$%&*^% 🙂
(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)
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