Any travelling is a great idea and if there is a chance you can afford to, go go go! Next town is just as good!
Coincidently my ticket had been booked way before the “Big Bang”… and thank-god too because my trip saved me, from myself! Urgh could I cry anymore, is it even possible?! Sometimes I really didn’t think I had anymore tears left in me but I would always prove myself wrong. (Swollen eyes are so annoying….)
Anyway, I had originally booked to visit Washington DC, America because out of my many beautiful-spirited friends, my best friend (almost 20 years together) was living there. Lucky I know! Positive thinking; whoop whoop! I knew that seeing her would also be the best cure ever. (I really believe that me and her are going to grow old together.)
After the usual difficulties, such as the receptionist at the desk not being able to find me in the system at the airport, I arrived in the capital of the US of A, broken, tired and full of emotions ranging from hope to dismay.
Everything in the US is freakin’ BIG: the streets, the stairs, the size of mouthwash bottles, food portions… I could go on. The potential to get lost and fat is HUGE! One of the funniest (read as; silliest) assumptions I made was to think that if I walked the distance of one tube stop, it would be the same as walking the distance of one tube stop in London. Learn from my mistake, it is not!
I got to the “mall” in the heart of Washington when suddenly I was overcome with emotion. I am 30… I am single… I am broken on so many levels but this is it, I am alone in a new exciting place. It was up to me to pick myself up, dust myself down and start again. It was up to me to enjoy this new city, this new country! It was one of my biggest dreams to come here and I made it happen (a little girl from a little Country). Nothing can stop me to make the new dreams come true either! I just have to start to dream again! Not that I could explain this any better it was a kind of turning point.
But let’s stay with Washington (for now). It was huge! I spent 3 days trying to discover it and I still didn’t quite manage to see it all! You have all the museums, the White House (which looks much bigger in films), the Capitol, the Lincoln memorial and many, many other magical places to see.
The Turner paintings, Lichtenstein’s and Dorothy’s shoes, the Hope diamond (just what I was after – see picture below), G. Washington’s house, the cupcakes- potentially the only small thing there (check out the gallery)! Something I have found really strange is the fact that whenever you go to a shop they actually ask you how you are. (I resisted the urge to respond with my relationship woes and instead I smiled. I am pretty sure they do not care about my life – smart assumption I know.) The good thing about doing it on your own that you can see what you want to see and you can pick the speed and place as well. Bonus!
Have you ever been alone in the zoo? Or any zoo really? Washington’s zoo was a place I liked to lose myself in. Just as everything else, it is massive (for a change) and you have to walk miles to actually see an animal. I felt like the zoo and being close to nature was really good therapy for me. It makes your existence real. I used to take my friends to the Tropical Wings (butterfly heaven) so they could see the beautiful creatures and forget about their “big bang”s. I was using my own therapy…
However the biggest help of course was to be with the person who knows me more than anyone on this planet. She is more than I could ever ask for. We have been living in different countries for 8 years but the bond has never faded. We have been through absolutely everything together and finally I could talk face-to-face to someone about what I was really feeling; all of my fears, pain and so much more. No sugarcoating, no hiding. And with her help, my heartbreak slowly started to ease up. She reminded me of who I am and where I came from. How I started with £500 and 20 kilos of luggage, completely alone in a different country, when I was 23. With her help, I slowly turned my attention to my future (not past) and started to realise what I am worth. She never uses all the cliche and she cuts the crap – there is a reason why she is the best. My strength and logic came to the surface and took control again! Her unwavering confidence in me to get better made me feel I really could have a life past the mess I had left behind in England….
(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)
Next: Reborn! Travelling (Part II)