It is human nature that as friends we want to give each other great pieces of advice. It is also fair to say that we probably don’t like to see our friends single, which must mean they are sad and or lonely. Naturally we want our friends to find happiness-which must be through love, right? (It is also probably human nature to want to be credited with matchmaking said friends… you know… maybe in their wedding speeches later down the line?!) However it would be nice if, when you are single, your friends wouldn’t sprinkle most conversations with “I know this lovely guy…who is also single…” Hosting a look of excitement and hope, as they look at your crestfallen face.
The amount of “offers” I got should have been thrilling and I probably should have been grateful. (I say “offers” loosely as in fact, the offers were from my friends and not the intended men themselves. The men too, were probably unaware of what matchmaking lay ahead of them.) However I wasn’t grateful (bad An). For the offers. In fact I could hardly stop myself saying something rude when people came up with their supposed fantastic matchmaking ideas. I just managed to answer most with “Oh that’s so nice of you, that you thought of me, but when I am ready I will let you know…” But it was very hard for me not to say what was really on mind, “NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! THANK YOU!” If you find yourself in a similar situation I would try to stop the idealistic matchmaker before s/he gets to the stage of showing you their friend’s picture on Facebook, otherwise you will never get out of the situation without getting into trouble. (If you can’t stop them make sure you practice your poker-face and you can say how handsome their friend is… Even though more than likely s/he isn’t.)
So I guess this post is just to say…in a small…non-ranting…but really it is a rant…kind-of-way, that if one day you are on the other-side and you think you are a great matchmaker and you know two people who would be awesome together and you’re desperate to set-them up, maybe just organise a casual day out instead? Invite a few other friends, keep it calm and give the fated couple a chance to discover each other at their own pace.
How do I know it works this way? Because this is exactly how my friend introduced me to my first “real” boyfriend when I was 21 and we were together for 2 years. It worked perfectly (well for 2 years…). Nonetheless that isn’t to say I want to be set-up…in case you are reading this post well-minded friends!
(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)
Next: The new “Hole”