Even after a year I wasn’t overly comfortable receiving everyone’s comments, opinions and advice on my break-up. Admittedly sometimes the advice was good…but sometimes it was terrible. This is a CLASSIC piece of terrible advice (just couple of months after the break-up) therefore I can’t leave it out from my notes.
You break-up with someone and when those around you have nothing better to say they remind you of this magic little quote; “The best way to get over somebody, is to get under somebody else.” Who came up with this in the first place? Probably a bloke. Not a gentleman. Certainly not a lady. I mean I understand that it works for some and maybe mostly for guys (?) but most girls couldn’t do this straight-away without hurting themselves. And I have many female friends who agree. I think instead of fixing your confidence it actually ruins it. If you find someone and you “get under” him straight away there is a good chance that you will feel awful afterwards because you quickly realise that you have given your body to someone whom firstly, you probably wouldn’t normally have, and secondly it makes you miss everything about your ex even more! He isn’t your ex. He won’t replace him. If you can handle it (and I really don’t believe this happens often) but if you can and put it in the right place in your head then good for you! Just make sure you don’t regret it! Regret is a horrible thing…. However when you are so keen to do it because everybody says it will help, let’s be honest it probably won’t and instead it is likely to make you feel even more depressed.
Get your confidence without the help of getting under anybody! Make sure you don’t start to say those depressing words: “no one wants me/ I am not good enough/ I am worth nothing.” When a friend says this I feel the urge to shake them hoping they come to their senses. Don’t punish yourself. You are pretty, smart and sexy. Don’t question yourself. You are looking for someone too soon/ and most probably looking at the wrong person. Give yourself a bit of a break. Have a little faith!
(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)
Next: Shock to the body