I have many brothers which means I get on well with guys. I don’t know why, but I sometimes struggle with girls. I hated my best friend when we were 14 at the beginning! Oops. I have mainly always had male friends so no surprise that the one who supported me the most was a male friend again.
There was never anything between us, which is unusual I know but it’s true. He is amazing and I am really lucky to have him. We both know what it means to come out from a long dysfunctional relationship. We were the best movie buddies at this time. It helped that I love Transformers, Spider-Man, X-Man etc…another side effect of having brothers. Since he is happily settled in another relationship now we don’t go to the cinema anymore (really need a new movie buddy ASAP) but I know if I were ever in trouble or felt down he would be there for me and I would be there for him. How did I find him? At work of course! We used to be colleagues. Surprise, surprise! It is so easy to make friends at work, when you sit close to each other. If you click, you get close to these people no matter what, boys or girls. If you leave your job, then it is usually the case that you won’t see them again but some of them stay with you and make your life better. Some people though tend to mistake work relationships for love affairs and I guess I have some opinions on this. (Surprise- I have more to say!☺)
I have never cheated on anyone but I kind of understand why it is so common that colleagues have an affair. You see each other all day, you talk openly because it doesn’t interfere with real life and you don’t want anything from each other. Then before long you realise that you have become good friends and s/he knows more about you than anyone else and that you talk to him/her more than to your own partner. Even if you didn’t find him/her attractive at the beginning the inside glow can make someone very attractive. Also when things are not going well at home you look to the only other place you spend as much time, to seek comfort and familiarity. A colleague will (generally) listen, they boost your confidence and due to the fact that you do similar things they understand you. You begin to stay late at work because you are trying to avoid conflict at home- which makes it even worse.
Having said this (and I don’t judge anyone) you can resist and you can control your feelings. You don’t need to hurt your other halves for what could be a false ideal. You can be strong and you should be clever enough to realise that you should fix or end your relationship before you start to get more from others than from your partner. Very often these affairs wouldn’t function outside of work, because you get to see only one side of that person. Even if you had just one date you could realise that s/he is really not as good as your partner. Maybe he doesn’t put the cap back on the toothpaste or he doesn’t like to stay in bed late, etc…. You should always respect your partner enough and not cheat. Temptation is a funny thing but guilt is horrible and much worse. Try to fix it or end it. That’s what I think anyway. Obviously, the truth is that it is your life in the end and it is not endless so it is your decision if you do something about it and make it better or if you remain unhappy and start to do those things you would have never done before- cheat.
Erm… I am not sure how I got here really when I only wanted to talk about my male friend and about the fact that how good it is when you have one!
(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)
Next: Look forward and not backward