Looking for a meditation class and finding something different…

One of the meet ups I went to was so exceptional I really feel the need to mention it. It would be such a shame to not. I made so many people laugh out loud that I shouldn’t keep this for myself. I was really into meditation. Not that I have succeeded so far but at least I wanted to try. Well, I managed to pick the most random one out of all.

Don’t ask how I didn’t click when I saw the title. “xxxx meditation London”, but I swear I didn’t. (I wasn’t myself ok?) I was just scanning it on my phone, checked the time and place and I (shamefully) paid for it.

I turned up only a couple of minutes early. Being absolutely naive and innocent I was standing there and waiting for a great meditation class. The lady who greeted me was very nice. And here is the thing, I asked her about the meditation and with a poker face she explained to me that with this meditation the guys are stroking the girls “most sensitive parts”. (Ahem, well she didn’t quite say “sensitive parts”.) She was very matter of fact, she said everything how it is. I guess I should put her link on this page so you can check it out. I wish I had seen my face from her point of view. The word shock doesn’t cover it.  Tried to keep my face straight and I thanked her for the info and explained that it was a big misunderstanding and that perhaps this kind of meditation is not for me.  Inside I was ready to run away. There is no way that I was allowing a stranger would come close to me. She quickly explained that the first part is just about sitting together in a room and playing games. They would ask funny questions and someone would sit in the hot seat and the others can ask any questions of you but it is all volunteering. She promised me that this whole session is very innocent and they just teach the “meditation” at the end. Embarrassingly I paid reasoning that I don’t like to be a coward and also I guess I should be more open to new experiences.

I recall that the first task was to compare your orgasm with food. 20 people sitting around in a room and one lady who got to ask the questions. Most of the answers were quite sensible- chocolate, strawberry and whatever, although I swear someone said calamari! Yuk! Gross. It was a guy. It made me wonder if I should ask this on a first date, it would probably help me to filter the weird ones. I can’t remember the other two questions but it was something similar.

Then my turn on the hot seat took place. I learnt a very important thing though, it is called a hot seat for a reason. When you receive all the attention, the hungry looks, all of that energy and even more you do feel the heat. The adrenaline goes up and all your senses get sharper. Also being there meant that straight after the session finished I had many people standing around me who wanted to talk to me. I couldn’t be fast enough to get out of there and what they did after I really don’t want to know.  By the way if you are into these things it is highly recommended by others, I just know that this is something I am personally not interested in. No judgment or anything and the leaders were lovely like I said.

I met with my friends afterwards. They couldn’t stop laughing….

ps: 18 months later one of the organiser lady turned up on our meet up and she is indeed an amazing, wonderful lady! I couldn’t believe it but she did remember me…. Crazy thing..

Next: Being deer

(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)

the real meditation

the real meditation

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