Time is such a strange thing… It meant to be consistent but it never is. It never feels the same. At school when I had my exams time was never enough. When I am in a rush and waiting for a bus or train it feels like an eternity and every second passes very slowly. When happy, time flies. But what about when you are not happy?
This particular winter was the longest in my life. I had to travel 4-5 hours almost every week and stayed in hotels. The longest 6 months ever. No contact, no social life, no money. I had nothing but the routine of work. What makes me to think about this? Today I am celebrating my one-year of freedom!
One year ago my life changed completely….now I stand here and I am quickly measuring everything. The past and my present and my potential future. I am standing in my flat, exploring a new job and my social life is slowly picking up. My heart is slowly healing and I have so many plans that I am actually looking forward too. My eyes are turning wet, letting out the final drops (I know now that they were the last ones over him) and I cherish my memories and letting them go (or putting them in the right box). I am thankful for the 5 years and thankful for the journey after. It’s the first time that I wouldn’t change it all, the first time when I feel it’s going to be ok and it will work out. I like my new life and I can see all the opportunities. Having a bit more money means I can do some courses and thinking about all the dreams I would like to achieve. Sleeping is still a bit challenging and my confidence is damaged. I have a lot to sort out and learn. The journey is still on but today it is the end of an era, no regret, no sadness, only acceptance and feeling that I am on the good path…. It’s time to grow
PS: as you know this blog is a good year behind and I can tell you for sure that from this point everything changed. I have been looking only forward ever since! Being single for a year in London is a very easy thing, don’t think even for a second that anything is wrong with you. You are perfect, once you are ready and you open your eyes you will start to see again. See things you meant to see. Your brain can focus on things you desire. You just have to decide what you desire… And this can be more difficult than achieving those dreams and goals. My single life hasn’t stopped here therefore I can promise you that there are so much more to come, many lessons, ups and downs, challenges, happy moments and sad moments… 😉
(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)
Next: Sugar free – or something like that