People come and go in our lives and we accept that. Or at least we try to. This is life and this is how it supposed to be. However it doesn’t mean that we don’t miss some of these people. When their absence leaves this emptiness behind it can take time to fill that space again. It is particularly hard when something happens that you would just love to share with that one person.
When I was at school we had something called the “Memory book”. We used to give our own memory book to our friends when we were leaving school for them to write short messages/ quotes/ pictures in. One particularly memorable message went along these lines: “When someone leaves you, you have to let them go. They left you because they were able to leave you. You should forget them and move on.”
I try to remember this quote when someone walks out of my life. I accept them leaving and I don’t contact them again. It doesn’t mean that I don’t think of them anymore but when I do want to talk to that person I simply write it down instead. Having an outlet for my emotions helps me to move on. It works, for me, every time.
This is one of them. Happened over a year ago when I had to write down what happened instead of contacting that old friend and this letter was my final one (to this friend).
“Today I met with a really nice guy. However as it turns out he has a kid! And all I could think about was something you once said; that you respect those who can do it (i.e. have children) but you couldn’t do the same! It made me think of you. Of us. And what has happened since we parted ways. I remember that I said I wouldn’t be single for years. I was wrong. But in spite of this, this year has been the best and the worst of my life. There is no regret. My journey has been very good and I have changed a lot and I am very grateful. I appreciate now, more than ever, how lucky I am. I have many friends and people I love and who love me! I also met with a lady recently who told me how English people don’t use too many words and I said I knew only one. I told her how he used to be my friend and how I learnt something new from him every time we talked. Funny how every now and then I still feel the need to write to you! You don’t receive these thoughts at all course, there is no point, and things changed a long time ago. But in these cases I pretend that I have that friend (imaginary) I used to have. And I tell him all about my day. I have many people around me now but they aren’t quite him…”
(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)