This post is about how to cope with the fear of wondering how and/or when will you find the one? How do we combat those worrying thoughts such as, will I ever be loved again like I have been before? Will I be loved more than I have been before? How long do I have to wait for this love? Will I have time to have children? Shall I let that dream go? Am I single because my standards are too high/too low? Am I single because something is wrong with me? This list can be quite long. We can be so creative when our minds start to spiral out of control.
It gets a bit harder when suddenly all of your friends are having kids and you are the only one who hasn’t even got a boyfriend, not to even mention a husband! When you receive baby pictures on a daily basis- your Facebook has got nothing else but scan pictures and newborns. I believe when it all becomes a bit…much… the best thing to do is to get into a positive mindset and grab back some self-control. You can turn it around and shake it off. I think having these fears sometimes is completely understandable. The question is: can you handle it and not worry about it too much? When I could feel my worries becoming overwhelming I had a couple of tricks to get out of it. First of all I stopped looking at Facebook and I told myself that Facebook is not real, everybody shows their best sides of their lives on there, you never know about the other side. Facebook does not portray the whole reality. The second thought is very simple. I could feel sorry for myself but would it help? Would it make my life better? NO. In fact looking and feeling miserable probably equates to even less chance of attracting the right person. So the solution is simple. Acknowledge the feeling, reason with it and tell your mind to pack it up, move on and concentrate on better things. Check out your to-do list, call a friend, do some exercise and let your mind think about better more positive things. Tell yourself in the mirror that it will be fine and you just need to be a bit more patient. You could even write your fears down. Everything will be fine, it will all work out. 🙂 – Watch Will Smith’s advice on Fear!
Next: When a girl goes to the pub…
(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)