Having male friends is the best thing. I always learn something new from them and they give great advice. Also it is quite interesting to see how they think and how they react. I wouldn’t like to establish the difference between male and female mindsets, if anyone is interested just read “Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus” from John Gray. (I still need to finish that book..)
However what I like is asking a very simple question: How can I find a boyfriend? Let me remind you that we are in London. It is a massive city with full of lonely but also crazy people. You need a very strong filter and your gut feeling needs to be spot on. It is not as simple as it sounds. It depends on the expectations as well of course, how high that “magic bar” stands. Lowering the standard can be useful but it can be a disaster as well.
I bet you would like to know the answer. I am sorry to say this but they were quite boring: pub, club, work , tennis club, apps etc. You get a very long monologue when you ask them what a girl can do right at the beginning. Or what puts you off the most. It is an endless list so better not to even ask! Don’t ask too much, don’t talk about yourself too much, don’t talk about the ex, don’t look desperate or too needy, don’t ask about their size, don’t talk about future or kids, don’t talk about money, don’t be a strong character but be funny, easy-going, smart but not too smart, pretty, fit, sexy, interesting, diverse, successful, play on instruments, be good at many things, have many hobbies, be confident but not too confident, do sports etc. And this the minimum!
Anyway, I am going to share one of the best answer I have ever got. My new colleague N. asked his mate for advice and this is the exact email chain they had. I did’t change a letter! He is an angel by the way, so lucky to work with him.
N. sent this email to his friend:
“A girl at work was saying she wouldn’t consider dating sites/speed dating etc. as she’s looking for a serious relationship, so I told her about you and how you’ve enjoyed a fair bit of success on them and she wants to know which services you used…”
“Haha, I’m kidding about the last email!! – (the email I have never seen… but makes me wonder)
To be honest, I’ve heard it’s more off a minefield for girls since there are lots of d1cks about (literally I guess too) – however, I basically used OK Cupid which is free and has the best interface and a much better population than Plenty of Fish which I think is geared more towards hookups.
Also, if she’s interested, there are the Lovestruck’s London events (just google this and she’ll find the page) which has free gathering for single people who aren’t even members that are fun – been to a few off these and they’re usually pretty packed and at a decent enough bar.
And finally there’s Speed Dating with Original Dating but to be honest, I think the above is better and free so makes it redundant.
However, in the end, I think I’d most recommend signing up on Meetup and doing some activities that are male oriented and meeting people naturally – snow boarding, climbing, mixed hockey, book clubs etc. If she’s feeling adventurous the board game meet ups are 8:1 male to female, and you might pick up a specimen like me!”
I just simply love it 🙂
(Author: An, not edited)
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