When I am sitting on the tube and it is not crazy busy I always have this super calm feeling. I should feel frustrated but instead I feel relaxed, it sounds weird but let me explain!
When I am on the tube time stops. Everything is out of my control, it is a must and there is nothing I could do instead. It means that sitting on the tube is doing something, that time is justified. Therefore whatever I am doing counts as an extra activity, feeling super productive. I can let my thoughts run without feeling that I am wasting my time (let’s call it daydreaming). I can read a fiction book, I can write, learn languages or just listen to music (depending on the line of course – Bakerloo? No chance!).
In this moment, when I am writing this post, I have the this feeling… I have done something and I need to share this with you.
I quit my job. Again!
Yes, I did. And without having another one. No, I haven’t lost my mind and I know what I am doing. I should explain why but it is not the right time. The main thing is that being in my new job for only 10 months was more than enough. I got my signs. I have decided to look for a job where I can grow and I can be myself. I haven’t been without a job since I was 18, since I have finished high school. Even when I changed country I was only jobless for two weeks.
I know it was a good decision and I have no doubt. However the reactions of other people can be shocking. Made me realise that we all live in fear, other people are very judgemental and the main thing I realised (again and again) that I shouldn’t care about others opinion.
I could quit because I was confident I could find something else. I could quit because I have no mortgage or kids. I could quit because I have savings. I could quit because I know I can live on bread and water and go back to basics. I could quit because I am not scared. And mainly I could quit because I am in control of my own life and I wasn’t happy there. Life is far too short to spend it somewhere you are not happy.
I don’t understand why people are keep telling me it’s just a job and it’s the same everywhere and don’t worry about it just get on with it. I guess it’s easy when you have never had one you actually enjoyed, where you loved everybody and you could learn and grow. But I have had this and I am missing it and I know it does exist!
I haven’t told my mum yet. She would be too worried and she is not well anyway. I don’t want to give her another reason to worry about. Being single is enough. Being jobless is another level.
So finally I sent my CV to 30 places at least, had time to work on the blog and meet ups which is my big dream and purpose and I talked to many friends after a long break. Worked on my body and made new plans. And I can see the sun, bonus! Hottest April in 2015, lucky me!
My friend told me to send my CV to other countries as well, let’s see what happens… Is it my turn to leave London?
(Author: An, not edited)
Next: An 3.2 version