When no one is calling, you need to start calling

Having your heart broken is hard on you and your pain and suffering results in you receiving a lot of immediate support and sympathy (I did anyway). This is great. We all need this and most of us tend to lap it up, by the bucket-load! However this sympathy runs out reasonably fast, especially when people believe that you are strong and that you appear fine (that’s the image you are probably presenting to the world right now anyway). Also, naturally, they might think that you don’t want to keep being reminded of your unhappiness, so they stop asking you how you are getting on, and they get on with their own lives (naturally).   Let’s be frank about why this might be. Firstly, you remind them of a great fear, it can happen to anyone. Secondly, you are more than likely to be a bit of an energy-sucker (no offence! I was the same) at this period in your life and not all can take it, only the best ones can. Continue reading

Dancing keeps you alive

When you lose one of your key components in life (I call them pillars: family, partner, friends, home, job, hobby) it is really easy to think that everything is altogether lost. Especially when you lose more than one at the time. It is very challenging to concentrate on what we still have. Living so far away from my family, in a new area, and having lost the person I loved the most so far, I didn’t know how to make myself feel safe. I didn’t know how to make myself feel better. I wanted to rest and not to think about what had happened but sleep was not possible, as my brain tried so hard to find a solution to fix everything.

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“Are U single?”

After 5 years I almost forgot how it feels when people ask this question. Especially over 30 you cannot win. You don’t tick the expected boxes, you are simply “not good enough”. And they make sure that you feel this “society pressure”! Has anyone thought about that little thing that maybe it is not up to me? Anyway, the easiest way: Don’t worry about it! It doesn’t matter! Just because you are single you are not less, trust me! Continue reading

No blessing please!

After telling the same story a hundred times, “we just grew apart etc” you kind of get sick of it. You get lovely comments such as: “oh, how old are you? 30? Oh, you will be fine…” and you see their faces and you know they think: “well you should hurry up…!” or “oh poor thing, bless you”. As much as I like to be blessed, just keep it to yourself. Next group: “oh you are a survivor, I am sure you will be fine” and on that note they can comfort themselves that it is ok and you are fine. Continue reading