Looking for a meditation class and finding something different…

One of the meet ups I went to was so exceptional I really feel the need to mention it. It would be such a shame to not. I made so many people laugh out loud that I shouldn’t keep this for myself. I was really into meditation. Not that I have succeeded so far but at least I wanted to try. Well, I managed to pick the most random one out of all.

Don’t ask how I didn’t click when I saw the title. “xxxx meditation London”, but I swear I didn’t. (I wasn’t myself ok?) I was just scanning it on my phone, checked the time and place and I (shamefully) paid for it.

I turned up only a couple of minutes early. Being absolutely naive and innocent I was standing there and waiting for a great meditation class. The lady who greeted me was very nice. And here is the thing, I asked her about the meditation and with a poker face she explained to me that with this meditation the guys are stroking the girls “most sensitive parts”. (Ahem, well she didn’t quite say “sensitive parts”.) She was very matter of fact, she said everything how it is. I guess I should put her link on this page so you can check it out. I wish I had seen my face from her point of view. The word shock doesn’t cover it.  Tried to keep my face straight and I thanked her for the info and explained that it was a big misunderstanding and that perhaps this kind of meditation is not for me.  Inside I was ready to run away. There is no way that I was allowing a stranger would come close to me. She quickly explained that the first part is just about sitting together in a room and playing games. They would ask funny questions and someone would sit in the hot seat and the others can ask any questions of you but it is all volunteering. She promised me that this whole session is very innocent and they just teach the “meditation” at the end. Embarrassingly I paid reasoning that I don’t like to be a coward and also I guess I should be more open to new experiences.

I recall that the first task was to compare your orgasm with food. 20 people sitting around in a room and one lady who got to ask the questions. Most of the answers were quite sensible- chocolate, strawberry and whatever, although I swear someone said calamari! Yuk! Gross. It was a guy. It made me wonder if I should ask this on a first date, it would probably help me to filter the weird ones. I can’t remember the other two questions but it was something similar.

Then my turn on the hot seat took place. I learnt a very important thing though, it is called a hot seat for a reason. When you receive all the attention, the hungry looks, all of that energy and even more you do feel the heat. The adrenaline goes up and all your senses get sharper. Also being there meant that straight after the session finished I had many people standing around me who wanted to talk to me. I couldn’t be fast enough to get out of there and what they did after I really don’t want to know.  By the way if you are into these things it is highly recommended by others, I just know that this is something I am personally not interested in. No judgment or anything and the leaders were lovely like I said.

I met with my friends afterwards. They couldn’t stop laughing….

ps: 18 months later one of the organiser lady turned up on our meet up and she is indeed an amazing, wonderful lady! I couldn’t believe it but she did remember me…. Crazy thing..

Next: Being deer

(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)

the real meditation

the real meditation

The first meet up

The first meet-up is always the hardest. Going on my own and knowing how to start a conversation when my confidence was not on its best form was a big step. You might be as scared as I was but it is a great therapy. Really soon you realise that other single people have been doing this for a long time and that they will probably be confident enough to approach you and ask you the usual questions, that you might have forgotten. “Hi! I am (insert name) and I do (insert job title here). How about you?” You smile at each other and you basically start to follow a very simple script. The result- you get along merrily…most of the time. The hardest thing though is to escape from a conversation when you know after a couple of minutes that s/he is completely different and you do not connect.

My biggest challenge was to be able to listen and not talk about myself. When you are locked at home and have no one to talk to you can lose the art of conversation (when finally you do talk to an actual other human)!

Also some small tips: don’t talk about your past or ex! No one cares. I know you want to let it out but don’t. Actually, I have a nice friend who told me that after her break up whenever she went clubbing, she talked to the ladies who maintained the toilets, and would tell them, her whole sorry heart-break story. For 6 months she did it. She cried constantly… (As an aside, she knows how deep the pain of heart-break can be. She is happy now but she told me she will never forget experience. It has made her stronger and we gain knowledge and experience but she will never forget how it felt to have her heart-broken.)

Ooops… I have lost track… So anyway back to the first meet-up. It went really well. I joined a group where I learnt a lot about video optimisation. I always wanted to learn about it (geek I know). Also it was free. And sure it did attract many smart and lovely people. And I learnt a lot from these people as by then I knew how to shut up a little bit and also I learnt and practiced how to talk about myself. What is good and what is not. Testing the reactions and breathing in life stories like air. I had a great night and really soon I knew how to be independent in a new group and how to interact with people again. It was brilliant.

(Author: An, edited by my lovely friend Sarah)

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Don't stay in

Don’t stay in